Book Review - 'The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck'

This book is written by Mark Manson and is known as a self-help book. Indeed, you get to learn many wise life lessons that could help you. However, I disagree with the fact that this book is called a self-help book. I think that anyone, living in a developed country, would benefit from reading this book.

At first glance you will probably think what has this book to do with international aid and development? I totally understand, so let me explain it to you.

The main purpose of this book is actually, as the title says, to make clear to the reader to give a little less f*cks to certain things. The book contains a way of thinking that will make you feel less worried about certain things in the end. Things that people in developing countries will never really care about because they have different kinds of problems to care about than we do. Because we are a developed country, and perhaps a little too developed, we often worry too much about things that don't really matter at all. This book helps you get a slightly clearer picture of what you prefer to find important in life and what you prefer to find unimportant. While reading this book it seemed to touch on some relevant topics regarding to international aid and development, which I will describe below.

One of the topics the writer writes about, and what is the actual cause why he writes this book, is that we have become victims of our own success. "We make online jokes about first world problems, but we have essentially become victims of our own success" is what he says. Technology has solved old, economic problems (which makes us call ourselves a "developed" country) by giving us new, psychological problems. Stress-related health problems, anxiety disorders and depressions have skyrocketed over the past thirty years, despite the fact that everyone now has a flat screen TV and can have their groceries delivered to their home. We have so much stuff and so many possibilities that we don't know what to worry about anymore. Because there is an infinite number of things we can see or know these days, there is an infinite number of ways to discover that we are failing, that we are not good enough, that everything is not as great as it should be. And that's what's killing us.

However, when you look at people in developing countries. They don't have this problem. They have the problem to get enough food on the table for everyone, each day over and over again. However, what problem is worse? I think we'd all rather have enough food than worry about not having the newest phone, for example.

Manson mentions in his book that the desire for more positive experiences is essentially a negative experience. This was really an eye-opener for me. I think he's 100% right about that. This is something that people in developing countries can also suffer from, but I think the difference lies in the fact that they are more willing to accept negative experiences and then consider them as positive experiences. And by that I mean, for example, that they are more likely to accept that not all of them can afford a mobile phone, but are happy about the fact that they have enough food or can go to school. On the other hand, if we don't have a cool mobile phone, many people see that as a negative experience, because we actually have nothing else to be very happy about like people in developing countries are very happy with enough food. For us it is just a daily habit. You don't have to have everything to be happy. After all, chasing something only emphasizes the fact that you lack it.

Research shows that once basic needs (food, shelter, etc.) are met, the correlation between happiness and success quickly approaches zero," according to the book. In our current culture, there is a widespread belief that we are all destined for something truly exceptional. Being 'mediocre' has become the new benchmark for failure. Manson explains that your emotional health benefits from accepting the bare, everyday facts, such as the pleasure of a simple friendship, creating something, helping someone who needs it, reading a good book, laughing with someone you care about. This might sound boring to our ears and that's because it's all normal business. However, these are the things in life what matter and why people in developing countries, where they don't have to make the choices between luxuries, are actually happier and mentally often healthier than we are.

I would recommend to everyone to read this book. It has so many eye-openers. It made me realize how stupid it is that I care about some kind of problems what are actually not worthy to care about. It made me realize that we (most people in developed countries) are overdeveloped in some ways and that we need to stop wanting more and more. Even though we can't go to a development country because of the situation we're in right now, I putted it on my bucket list to go another time. I really want to get to experience the vibe and culture in a developing country. I really think we can learn so much from the way of living over there. I honestly think they can teach me more than I can do for them, but we can exchange skills either way.  

Author
Lynn ten Kate